At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
