Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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