either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
