Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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