so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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