u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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