I wish my penis had an off switch
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
