is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
