I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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