My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
