I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize