I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize