his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
