the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize