FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
