the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
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