Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
