Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
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