guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
