So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Randomize
