We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize
