I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
