my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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