fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
