Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
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the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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