you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
