Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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