this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
