chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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