I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
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