I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
