Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
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