i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Sacagawea was the original milf.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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