i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
