i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
