I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
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