it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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