I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize