is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Can you repeat that, but with context?
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize
