I'm eating all of the evidence.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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