He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
