i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
