The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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