david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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