peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Randomize
