I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
