so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
you never un-have a 4some
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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