I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
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