I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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