I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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