they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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