rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
