i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
