There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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