Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
