I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Randomize