but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
