What did we do last night that was yellow?
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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