I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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